Non-Participation
Ideally, the best way to start the day is with meditation, which for those of us who so choose, includes prayer. This enables us to focus on who we are and what our goals for the day are. It brings us into touch with our spiritual level (the article “The Satori Lifestyle” goes into great depth on the subject of levels), and when combined with exercise puts us in touch with our physical level. This combines to bring our lives and priorities into focus, centering us to face our challenges for the day.
But, what about maintaining that peace and calm, that “zone”? How many times have we all left our homes, headed to work or school, in a centered and focused frame of mind, full of peace and harmony from our morning ritual only to have that feeling shattered by another driver acting erratically, taking us suddenly to the emotional level and totally out of our “zone”. Or, we arrive at work only to be confronted by a coworker or boss who starts our day with confrontations or accusations. How do we maintain that centered, focused frame of mind and spirit?
Through non-participation.
Non-participation is the principle of not participating in someone else’s reality. That driver who makes you so mad on the commute to work? How do you deal with that? First, ask yourself, why is he behaving in that manner?
Which reminds me of a story… (I know – I’ve got a lot of stories). My oldest son was about 3 years old when we were visiting family and friends down in Roane County and he managed to split his head open. It was a nasty gash and was bleeding quite profusely. Because of where we were, it was just as easy to come back to Knoxville to Parkwest Hospital as it was to go to the hospital there. At the time, we were driving my wife’s Toyota Corolla, which wasn’t the fastest ride on the road, and so I was pushing that little car for all it had. My wife was holding my son trying to keep pressure on the wound, which continued to bleed. He was crying, she was crying and I was driving as fast as possible. Another car, with three young males in their twenties, must have taken offense to the way that I was driving and decided to express their opinion. They pulled up on my right side blocking me from getting over for the hospital exit. They were blowing their horn and laughing while I was in the middle of a personal emergency. I was finally able to get over at the last minute by stomping on the brakes and swerving across two lanes of traffic.
Do you get my point? Sometimes people have a good reason for acting like they do, so have patience with them. So, if someone is behaving in an erratic manner, maybe they are in the midst of an emergency and need prayers and positive energy sent their way and not curses.
Non-participation means that you are not going to align yourself with their emotions, you are not going to participate. Their emotions do not involve you, so why invite yourself in? That’s their reality, not yours. They have to deal with it, you don’t.
When confronted with someone behaving in that manner, ask yourself, why? Have you done something? Have you stepped over some line? If so, then you need to attempt to restore peace and harmony in both of you. In most situations, I found that it wasn’t me but some underlying issue that they were dealing with that caused them to act that way. Sometimes, a difficult person to deal with, is dealing with problems in their personal lives that have nothing to do with you. So, don’t participate. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into somebody else’s emotions. Don’t participate in their reality. Allow them to surround themselves with whatever energy they may, but don’t participate. Maintain your own centered and focused spirit. Their energies do not impact you unless you allow it to. Your centered focus will remain as long as you maintain it and allow it to remain. If you allow yourself to be drawn into someone else’s reality, you lose your own reality and theirs becomes yours.
How can you prevent that? Don’t participate.
Maintain your center and your focus by maintaining your own reality, by choosing to be a non-participant in someone else’s reality.